Best Animated Feature

Andy: Clooney is onstage to talk about... 80 years of Oscar.  Same old montage we've all seen before.  Let's see, that makes the 100th Academy Awards set to be in... 2028?  Provided there are no more strikes that could cancel the awards show.  And no major global disasters.  WHOA!  Charlie Chaplin as an old dude.  Crazy (he's dead, by the way, it was stock footage).

Jon's back with Anne Hathaway and Steve Carrell presenting.

I predict... RATATOUILLE.  I mean, come on.  It's a little more than obvious.

And the Oscar goes to... yep, RATATOUILLE. 

Corey: I predict: Ratatouille (It was cute...I think my mom would be terrified by it)

I'm sure Melanie is totally rooting for Surf's Up. 

Steve Carrell made me laugh. I can't wait for The Office to come back. Anne Hathaway looks like she is gaining weight for a role. Let's hope so. 

The Winner: Ratatouille! 1 outta 2 so far!

 

Best Costume Design

Corey: Oh look at me! I'm Jennifer Garner and I have $2million around my neck.

I predict: Atonement (Keira made me horny in that green dress)

The winner: Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Those movies always win. This is bullshit. Thank God Cate won't win for this movie that NO ONE saw. Wow, short acceptance speech. Let's hope this will continue.

Andy: I predicted ATONEMENT as well.  Very surprised to see it go to ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE.  I can tell you right now that hundreds of people placing bets on the Oscars just had the odds go against them.  Yeah.  Hundreds.

JON STEWART

Andy: Thank the Jewish God he's hosting this year.  Ellen didn't do it for me last time.

And here he is.  Emerging from a tube going up into the ceiling?  Alright.  Jack's in the front row.  For the umpteenth time.  Ahhh, writer's strike opening monologue.  All those writers going back to unemployment.

"Does this town need a hug?"

Diablo Cody...haven't seen it or read it but from what I've heard, JUNO's a pretty schmaltzy script in terms of dialogue.

Gaydolf Titler...awesome.  "Titler had so many good ideas!" 

Alright, time for the first award... 

Xavier Bardem?

Andy: Regis just called Javier "Xavier."  Corey missed it because he was pissing in the bathroom.

I wonder what kind of opening sequence there's gonna be this year...

By the way, these posts will be in order of from latest to oldest, I guess.  So as you read, we'll progressively get more sober. 

People are getting old
Corey: This woman on the screen right now is really old. So is Regis. Also, the contestants that won the Oscar seats are either fat or gay. Oscar is looking fierce (thanks Christian).

Jesus pleasus, Regis...

Andy: How old is this guy, anyway?  Still on the red carpet.

About 10 minutes to go now, Corey just signed up an account.  We're gonna see how this turns out.  I've got the Bock, he's got the Heffewiezen.  And we've got enough to last us until...a while.

Andy and Corey's Live Oscar Blog
Welcome to the Oscars, live from Austin, TX!  It's 7:07 PM CST, just 23 minutes away from the ceremony.  Stay tuned...