Corey: 13 Predictions Proven Correct
Andy: 9 Predictions Proven Correct
Winner: Corey
Well, that was fun. Turns out Roofio didn't die afterall. It was the dude that did makeup for JURASSIC PARK and HOOK.
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Corey: 13 Predictions Proven Correct
Andy: 9 Predictions Proven Correct
Winner: Corey
Well, that was fun. Turns out Roofio didn't die afterall. It was the dude that did makeup for JURASSIC PARK and HOOK.
Andy: Guess what I'm going with? THERE WILL BE BLOOD.
The Oscar goes to...
NO CUNT FOR OLD MEN.
Fuck this noise.
Corey: Denzel!
Prediction: Oh God. No Country For Old Men. I wouldn't be sad if TWBB or Juno wins.
Winner: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I fucking called it when I saw it. You can't deny the brilliance. Let's go take a shot.
Corey: Okay, let's see. I just love No Country. But PTA was great as well. I wouldn't mind if either of them won. But I have to go for my favorite. I'm glad Scorsese won last year.
Predict: The Coen Brothers
Winner: There we go! Here comes the Best Picture boys!
Andy: I'm going with Paul Thomas Anderson. Not just because he did THERE WILL BE BLOOD. But because he's my favorite working director. For one reason or another, he has a mentality and vision that I find relatable and also inspirational.
Marty is presenting. I'm going deaf. 11 beers.
And it goes to... Joel Coen and Ethan Coen for NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.
>depressed sigh<
I don't know if Paul can make a better movie. Or at least a movie that would win an Oscar and yet be better than THERE WILL BE BLOOD. If he does, it'll be like Marty winning for THE DEPARTED. Or it might be an Honorary Oscar. I still love everything he does.
Andy: No contest, dude. It's DDL.
Helen Mirren presenting... look out, he's gonna DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE... Best Actor. If he doesn't win, it's gonna be the biggest upset ever.
And the Oscar goes to...
I'VE ABANDONED MY CHILD! I'VE ABANDONED MY CHILD! I ABANDONED MY BOY...
DANIEL DAY-LEWIS!!!
Corey: Predict: Daniel Day Lewis (If its any one else I'll fuck a pillow...okay I would have done that anyway. Its going to be him)
Winner: Daniel Day Lewis
I typed it before it was announced. Was anyone surprised? Even George Clooney said he felt like the Hillary Clinton of the Oscars.
Corey: Harrison doesn't look his age. Again congrats to Ratatouille.
Predict: Juno (It has to win something. And she was a stripper. Big Dreams!)
Winner: Diablo Cody for Juno! And yes you were a stripper. Leopard, really? I love the tattoo. Good for you Diablo.
Andy: Fuckin' Indiana Jones presenting Best Original Screenplay!
I say... LARS AND THE REAL GIRL. Because Corey wrote a previous draft.
And the Oscar goes to... eh... Diablo Cody. She looks like a fuckin' stripper. I guess I still need to see it. For every person that says I should see it, there's one that says I shouldn't. There were better original script out there. I just can't think of them right now. SHE WAS ABOUT TO EXPLODE WITH EMOOOOOOTION.
Andy: SICKO. SICKO, SICKO, SICKO. Even the Republicans liked it.
And the Oscar goes to... TAXI TO THE DARK SIDE. ??? What is that? Some STAR WARS spin-off starring Robert DeNiro?
...Wow that was a bad joke.
Corey: Tom Hanks should have been nominated. Charlie Wilson's War was great.
Predict: Sicko (I think Michael Moore will make another controversial speech. Go for Hillary Mike!)
Winner: Taxi to the Dark Side. (well this won't be as interesting)
Corey: Wow Army men are presenting an Oscar. There goes the Don't Ask Don't Tell deal.
Predict: La Corona (It will win because most voters are alcoholics)
Winner: Free Held (Well maybe they're old and haven't taken pleasure in the treasures of Corona...the beer, not the Short)
Andy: Tom Hanks with American troops presenting Best Documentary Short.
I pick LA CORONA. Because I wrote something that kinda had the same title. I am struggling to stay focused.
Woops. Went to FREEHELD. Can't win 'em all.
Andy: Okay, so Roofio didn't die? Leah just looked up the actor, Dante Basco, and apparently he's still kickin'.
I would say THERE WILL BE BLOOD has the best score (of course -- my boner for that movie is unwavering and steadfast) but it's not original.
Goin' with ATONEMENT... even though I hated it.
Got it. Stilllll got it.
Corey: Again I love Amy Adams. The pit has had quite the night. I think I just threw a cigarette on someone trying to get in here in time. Good for Ratatouille for being nominated in things other than Animated Feature.
Predict: Atonement
Winner: Atonement (I loved it. The beating on the car and the other things which I can't remember because I'm sloshed.)
Corey: Heath Ledger should still be alive. I can't wait to see The Dark Knight. Here come a bunch of people I've never heard of. Heath will be the last. Wouldn't it be crazy if he came out in the end and said "Just joking!". I'm sorry, that was 100% inappropriate.
Andy: All the people that died this year. Only problem is, everybody is still thinking about Heath. At least Jack Valenti died. Roofio died? Holy shit. Dabbs Greer. Robert Clark. I bet they're saving Heath for last. Deborah Kerr. Ingmar Bergman. And there he is. Heath Ledger.
Fade to black.
Corey: Cameron Diaz has no place at the Oscars. She's pretty and she's good in romantic comedies but if she's ever nominated I'll give a ball to charity.
Predict: No Country For Old Men
Winner: There Will Be Blood (Well that was a freebie) You like that reference Andy?
Andy: Aww, Jon brought the chick that won Best Original Song back on so she can do her speech.
The "talented" and "beautiful" Cameron Diaz with Best Cinematography.
Important to note that the cinematography for THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD and NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN was the same guy. But I'm gonna go with THERE WILL BE BLOOD. I'm stickin' with it, tried and true.
WOO!
THERE WILL BE BLOOD wins its first Oscar!
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